|Writer's Block: Drawing a blank
||[Jul. 2nd, 2011|09:51 pm]
Have you ever forgotten to do something really important? What was it?
Recently, and by recently I mean the past couple days, I forgot to bring my head to a wedding. Literally. There I was sitting at this rehersal dinner, with only my shoulders and body! When someone in the born again Christian bridal party asked me what my religious views were, I told her she did not want to know. Yes, I am an atheist, but if I forgot my head, how do I explain that death doesn't really occur either?!
That caused a complaint in the bridal party that included my boyfriend, the best man. He heard that I had said this, and it seemed inappropriate to the girls on the bride's side (never mind that the groom was Jewish and they were allowed to talk about religion as long as it was with the same God and different book (but not when it's eerily mysterious but politely not talked about). After the wedding, though I had my head for all of the pictures, I seemed to had placed it down to grab a drink or two after John kept making sure I wasn't saing inappropriate things too loud. My head came on and off through the night, but mostly stayed off because my wine was a much better accessory than my head. I mean, if women can't say make jokes like all the boys can they don't really need their head to thing, right?
I had fun, but as the night rpogressed I became more and more inhibited, probably because the wine was going straight down my esophogus a lot easier than when I have my head with me. John and I got into more altercations, and eventually I ended up where I never wanted to be; losing my head again and crying during this special day. I felt I had ruined it, and I wasn't making it any better because, well, I didn't have my head.
Some of the things that John said that night weren't the nicest things to tell someone who wasn't thinking, or at all. It's not his fault at all though because I should have sucked it up for the people whose wedding it was. And maybe he forgot his head somewhere too that night.
So I drove home with his parents and he was at the hotel with the groomsmen ready to go out. I thought they would help him find someone new, because I was told I wasn't liked at all. I passed out on his parents couch, and woke up knowing my phone was dead and I had no car.
I did have access to the internet, so I found my head really quickly and thought up a way to contact someone to save me. I figured after last night nobody in the family ever wanted to see me again.
And there was John.
Apparently the Marines who were groomsmen lived up to their Marin-ey douchey ways and lost their manners by locking John out and telling him he shouldn't go out with them. He got his Dad to pick him up. His sister, who had also lost some decency that night didn't stop them. John put back on his head and realized that I, though somewhat crazy and drunk, am very loyal, honest, and would never do that to him.
So we hugged for a very long time. My girlfriend picked me up, and we went to brunch. I forgot to take my spanx off, but I remembered my head.